Welcome back everybody. I have been slacking this week on my "firsts," but boy do I have a story for y'all! I have been struggling lately trying to decide whether to stay a resident of Ohio, or become -GASP- a QUEENS resident.... Yeah, I guess I'm a New Yorker now...one day though, one day I will be a Manhattanite-the True Yorker ;)
So, I decided I would take what my big boss calls a "Cough Cough" day. That's when you're "sick" from working the weekend or working too many extra hours that week. It just wears your immune system down...lol I only took half the day though because I was feeling like I might be sick Friday afternoon. Ha. I was never more sick than when I left the DMV.
Okay, so I specifically researched the DMV locations closest to me. One was very close, but I don't have a bullet proof vest yet (its on order) so I couldn't go to that one. Then, there is one in Long Island, too far for only half a cough-cough day. I was left with one choice, the one semi-close with parking (thankfully-or so I thought). It takes about 10 minutes to get to the building. Not long to go 2 miles right? I pull in to get my ticket..you have to PAY to park at the DMV....... I know its New York, but really? And the best part of that is, while the DMV takes cash, credit, welfare checks, food stamps and basically every other kind of payment inside, the parking booth takes cash only. That was a sign of how the rest of the visit was going to go.
So I'm super irritated already and I ask if there is an ATM. Of course there is.. in the next building door in a grease shack. Great. Anyway, I got there around 930 and the doors opened at 830. When I walked in, it was filled. Imagine a mega church sanctuary, rows and rows of pews. That was what the front half of the building was designed. The back half, where you actually walk in was about 15 rows of people in line to see TWO tellers. Yes TWO. My blood pressure was steadily on the rise. I gritted my teeth and thanked the Lord for Internet on the Iphone. Little did I know I had two more lines ahead of me, equally as long and equally as tedious! Like a good New Yorker, I had already printed, signed, and prepared my forms so all I had to do was show up.. so I thought.
After an hour and 15 minutes in the first line, I walk up to the teller and she politely examines my forms, initials them and tells me to get in ANOTHER line, moving twice as slow because it is a Photo line, with thrice as many people in it. Meanwhile, there is a group of non-English speakers (probably 15 of them) walking around trying to find an interpreter.. only to cut the line once they found one. I'm sure I was in a prehypertension FIT. To make matters worse, I had been next to the scum of the earth for about 3/4 of the time. And when I say scum, I am being very nice. There were two boys behind me (by boys I mean males in their 20s) who were at the DMV I guess because the bus just happened to stop in front of it. One of them appeared to be a Caucasian and the other an African American male. The entire time they continued to talk about "nigga this, nigga that, nigga nigga nigga" and that was what the white boy was saying. The Black boy responded in turn as if nothing wrong had been said. They talked about various topics, including bitches and hoes, they grabbed at their crotches. It was pretty much the most foul situation. I felt like I was in a boys' locker room at a halfway house. Anyway after another hour and 45 minutes, I get my picture taken. HA! WOO. Can't wait to see if I am smiling it... Then, on to the next line. By the way, the guys were there getting permits..
So at that point, it was time for me to go to church. I got a number and sat in the pews. My feet worshiped the bench. By that time it was about 12:15pm. I was restless. Thankfully I brought a book (all you do is wait in this town, so you come prepared). However, when I attempted to read, the screaming babies started. The non-attentive mothers let them run, scream, cry, hell they could be terrorists but the mothers would not have known because everyone is on their Boost mobile phones. What happened to the glamour of NY? Oh yeah, Im in Queens. Okay. Moving along.
I finally get my number called (about 1pm). Im so excited that I do not even care that I have wasted my entire cough cough day, my numb, swollen feet are hurting or that I have been surrounded by all my pet peeves for the past 3.5 hours. I run to the counter and the woman greets me with a glance and a demand for my paperwork. I oblige her happily, although she could not care less if the world crashed around her, let alone helping me. We get all the way through the process, she asks for the address. Now, my address is not something that can fit in 20 characters. She just puts the first half on the license card and charges my credit card and hands me back a piece of paper. I just stared at her with a blank face. Then I asked, "where is my license?" She pushed the postcard-sized paper back at me and said "they'll mail it." So basically, the license bureau spent around 4.5 hours of my time to give me a 60-dollar piece of paper, that represents a license that I am not going to receive because they could only print half my address on it. Great. I was fuming. I could not even leave because I had to walk over to the greasy spoon next door and use the ATM which was on wheels to pay $6.00 to a parking lot that should be free.
Now I recognize that the DMV is not going to be pleasant ANYWHERE. But nearly 5 hours, an entire cough cough day, 60 dollars for a piece of paper and a license they don't even give you immediately is too much for me. I don't see Diddy or Mariah standing in a DMV like that.. oh yeah because they have drivers and live in Manhattan.. I <3 NY.