Oh when its a Roach, I can't even!!

Another first time experience, another bout with my blood pressure. I have been doing many sit-ins and shadowing a lot of people around my office for the sake of learning the ropes at this fine institution. So, this past week in one of my many sit-down-and-look-pretty sessions that I have perfected, my supervisor was at the end of a presentation and was just asking for questions and comments. I was sitting there grinning with my Coach bag between my legs (yes the metallic one with fringe that everyone covets and my old supervisor Kelly hated) and I look across the seat from me, maybe 2 feet away and I shrieked. Yes, in the presentation, although not many people paid much attention as they were starting to stand and exit. A huge ROACH was staring me in the face. I lost my wits about myself and squeezed my full bladder tightly as I got weak in the knees and gripped a seat for balance (all that COKE at lunch did not help the situation).

Roaches? oh its a no-can-do for me.

My supervisor rusehd over to me and asked "What's wrong?!" I could not speak, only point to a HUGE roach and when I say huge, I am talking H-U-G-E! hmm... okay. Think of a piece of dog poop (i know this is gross, but when I explain you will understand). The poop usually has 3 segments to one complete turd. Okay? Well imagine the size of that with two huge antennae sticking out of it. I was beyond words and to further my exasperation, my supervisor walked over and tapped it with a piece of paper. He claimed it was dead--roaches don't die. They can withstand atomic bombs. If that roach just got a whiff of some garbage juice that sucker would be more alive than a bear in the spring time, looking for a fluffy white rabbit to, well you know the rest. Anyway, I grabbed up my bag, wiped the sweat that beaded over my lip and shook out my clothes. I asked my supervisor if those were normal around here. He responded...lol.. I had to let out a laugh, sorry. But he said, " I am sure you have had roaches everywhere you have lived or been." I sucked my teeth and pursed my lips. I simply responded, that I personally have never had a roach in my lifetime and would bet a Benjamin on it. Now, that is not to say I have not seen roaches in other places (pondegrosa..lol)...and some other people's houses, but never have I ever HAD roaches. I was slightly insulted, but he is from SoCal, so they are used to huge pests as well (I guess).

At that point, I was traumatized. I had to pee, I was sweating, I had just been accused of having roaches, and I had just seen a gigantic one in hibernation. My head was pounding (that's my blood pressure) and my supervisor again asked if I were alright, and soon dismissed me to calm down. But how do you calm down from seeing a huge roach and recognizing yet again this is going to be my life? I digress. Roaches, murders, traffic restrictions...ugh. I'm sticking it out though, I guess.